A Falling of Ash on a Windless Evening
by Liss1
Summary: Short RJ piece. A simple conversation, a simple car ride, a simple pair of complex minds.


**A/N: This is my first MbN fic, my first fic out of the Rent fandom, actually. But here it is. A few issues I'm having with it: I do not know where the boys are going, when this is happening, or what "mistake" they are arguing about. So there it is, and here it is, and enjoy; reviews would be fantastic and helpful, considering it is my first within the fandom. Thanks.**  
  
It had not been his fault, not this time. He knew every step, every motion he made was not only perfectly planned, but perfectly executed. Not one mistake, not one slip up. He was sure that if anything had gone wrong, it was certainly the fault of his fair-haired companion. But as he glanced over at the blonde in his passenger seat, he felt his anger melting.   
  
The cigarette held just before his lips was newly lit, the trail of smoke funneling quickly out his open window and into the speeding night. Justin knew Richard was upset, he had barely gotten an apology after the boy's customary threat of strangulation, nevermind the usual hug or lingering stare.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry that it's not going exactly as planned." Justin spoke the words to his windshield, only stealing a quick glimpse of his friend through his periphery.   
  
"You're sorry? You're sorry, Justin? Fuck you're sorry! Do you even think anymore? Do you even realize what this could mean?"  
  
"I'm aware of the risk, yes."  
  
Richard rolled his eyes and took a drag of his cigarette. "Don't talk to me like we're in english class, asshole."  
  
"I'm not. I'm just- I'm not. I'm sorry." Justin tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear and reached over, plucking Richard's cigarette out of his fingers and stealing a drag or two for himself.  
  
Richard turned his head, his eyebrows raised. "You don't smoke." It wasn't an admonition, or even a judgement, just an innocent observation.  
  
"And I don't usually murder people, either. There's a first for everything." Exhaling out his own cracked window, a hand abandoned the steering wheel in order to rub the weariness and tension from his red-rimmed eyes.  
  
Richard seemed to be intent on examining the cherry of his cigarette as soon as Justin had handed it back, and he took a short poke at it before speaking softly. "Justin?"  
  
"What?" Deadpan, as always. Sometimes Richard just wished his friend would freak out, fuck shit up just because he could. Granted, they had deranged their world just like they promised, but that was all planning. Careful movements and perfect timing. He wanted Justin to scream; to sob and curse and overreact, to be a little more like himself.  
  
"Justin, will you look at me?"  
  
He turned his head towards Richard, but had to alternate between the road ahead and the concerned looks he was getting from the seat next to him. "What?"  
  
"Are you okay? I'm worried that I haven't paid enough attention to you throughout this whole thing, I've been so concerned about the plan that I haven't even had a conversation with you that wasn't premeditated."  
  
"Of course I'm okay." Justin quipped defensively. "Why wouldn't I be? You think I can't handle this?"  
  
"I never said that. C'mon, Justin." Richard's devious trademark smile eased his nerves a bit, his friend hadn't meant to be condescending. Justin let a small smile creep over his face and Richard's eyes lit up, his hand finding the younger man's shoulder and rubbing it comfortingly, his own expression morphing from mischievious to truly content. "I worry about you, that's all."  
  
Justin nodded, stopping at a red light and turning towards his partner in crime. "I know. Thank you."  
  
Flicking the filter of his now extinguished cigarette out the window and ceasing in soothing Justin's shoulder only to cradle the back of his neck, he leaned over and pressed a firm, reassuring kiss on the boy's lips. "I can't help myself from worrying about you, Justin. You're my mind, my sanity. You know you're why I wake up in the morning, why I went through with this."  
  
Justin nodded, brushing hair out of his face once again. "I know."  
  
Richard reclined his seat, turned up the radio, and laid his feet on the dashboard. Nodding his head emphatically to the song, he lit another cigarette and smiled wickedly. "That's a good boy, Justin. That's my boy." 


End file.
